19
Thanksgiving Quotes By Comedians
11/23/11
Jon
Stewart: "I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited
everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I
killed them and took their land."
Johnny
Carson: "Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of
miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a
year is way too often."
David
Letterman
Top
Ten Signs You Had A Bad Thanksgiving
10."You
ran out of booze by 11 a.m."
9."Most
frequently used word at dinner: Heimlich"
8."Meal
was leftovers from last Thanksgiving"
7."Thanks
to new electric knife, kids fought over wishbone and your severed thumb"
6."The
'turkey' was wearing a dog collar"
5."Spent
day in Times Square waiting for the giant turkey to drop"
4."Woke
up from tryptophan-induced sleep to find yourself naked in the driveway"
3."When
dinner came out, so did your son"
2."Laura
and the twins lock you out"
1."Your turkey dinner was the only breast
you've touched all year"
